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And the bride bustles on...

Donna`s wedding day did not go according to plan. In fact, it seemed to be heading in quite the opposite direction. But it didn`t matter that there was no light at the end of the tunnel, because Donna was carrying her own torch!

A wedding is a very special day. And the madness that goes hand-in-hand with the planning ensures that it all comes together. But not for Donna. For some reason, the word `seamless` was not on the menu for her wedding day. (Perhaps when Donna muttered in her dreams: I want a really big cake, the `powers-that-be` misheard and thought that she wanted really big chaos. Lucky her - that`s precisely what she got!)

The night before the morning after. After a successful rehearsal, an exhausted but elated bride-to-be (from now on to be known as B2B) returns home to pack her last minute possessions in the honeymoon suitcase. The wedding is set for 11am the next morning. Peaceful sleep follows.

Next morning, 9am. Super-efficient B2B realises that she`s packed so much, she may be taking the kitchen sink with her on her honeymoon. Not wanting to set a precedent as to who washes the dishes, she sets about unpacking the excess.

9.30am. After sending the bridesmaids off with careful instructions on how to get to the venue, and entrusting her precious wedding gown to their care, B2B sinks into her bubbled-up bath.

9.45am. B2B, having got dressed and changed not only her clothes but also her status, officially becomes Our Bride (otherwise known as OB1). And off she goes - but not before nipping into the local Spar to grab breakfast for the wedding party.

9.55am. OB1 arrives at Stop Number Two, ready for her next task of the day - chauffeur. The mission: to collect an old Irish lady who kindly offered to help her get ready.

10am. The scene turns dark as an unsuspecting bride enters the old lady`s residence, only to find two hysterical granddaughters playing tug of war with some obstinate hair curlers lodged in their hair. A couple of snips later, the Tragedy of the Tresses is resolved, and OB1 makes off for the venue, entourage in tow.

10.45am. OB1 alights from her self-driven carriage... to find most of her guests peering anxiously at her from the ceremony area. Not quite the perfect picture of the bride, OB1 is still in a dark grey tracksuit, with dishevelled hair and not a stitch of makeup. So she does what any self-respecting bride would do, she makes a dash for the changing room, only to find that her bridesmaids have gone missing in action - along with her dress.

10.45am and 30 seconds. Frantic hands swarm all around her. No matter the dress, at least the beauty routine will continue. First Operation Hair Fix-up, and water is splashed liberally over OB1`s head. Then time for the hairdryer, but it seems not only does the dress go missing, the plug point seems to have gone walkies as well!

11am. An extension cord is eventually unearthed, and a hairdryer lowered from an opening in the window. OB1`s hair is hastily fashioned.

11.15am. Still no make-up, but finally the bridesmaids materialise, along with the ill-fated wedding gown.

11.30am and the guests are getting restless. The summer sun is beating down. Messengers are sent to enquire about whether or not a wedding will actually take place. The clock steadfastly ignores the retinue`s pleas to slow down.

11.35am. The make-up artist flies to the rescue. Splashes of colour are plastered everywhere in record time. Minutes later, OB1 is ready to meet with destiny...

11.45am. Miraculously, almost an hour after the proposed ceremony time, it all happens. Perfectly choreographed bridesmaids lead the procession down the aisle, followed by a less-than-punctual `blushing` bride. A bewildered groom takes to her side before the altar, and a chorus of sighs comes from the congregation.

The finale? "It all went brilliantly after that," says Donna, now officially The Wife. And, yes, they lived happily ever after, concrete proof that no matter what happens at the wedding, there is life after your wedding day!

Article source: LifeWorld



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